Comatose
by NightmareGlitter
Summary: Introspective look on Juudai. When he goes over the edge, will it be the person who helped him fall in the first place that will save him? Not very fluffy. HaouxJuudai...sort of.


**A/N: I wrote this at night when I was supposed to be asleep on notebook paper, so it's not very long. I just had to write it from the inspiration I got from the song "Comatose" by Skillet (it was stuck in my head). Anyway, the really important thing is, it's En Medias Res (in the middle of things) and it's NOT to be taken literally. HINT: SYMBOLISM AND INTROSPECTIVE. Don't get it? Sorry. The entire story is figurative. If it seems OOC or rushed, then once more, see above. It's intentional. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own GX.**

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He stepped backwards, his legs trembling in fright. Never before had sheer emotion struck him so deeply. His chocolate eyes misted over with terror, shame, and regret. His lips parted slightly, the words caught in his throat.

_"I want to die…"_

Desperately, he tried not to think it, but it came to his mind anyway. And no matter what he did, the piercing yellow gaze remained steady on him.

It might have seemed animalistic on one hand, but on the other, those eyes held the wisdom and knowledge of thousands of years. Unlike him, being guided by pure instinct, the other, his counterpart so to speak, followed philosophy and nobility. Yet, in those eyes, the pain of thousands of years lingered; time turned it to rage, and it penetrated Juudai's already broken spirit. Those eyes held the same bitter sadness he felt.

The next step backwards took him over the edge as the other advanced. For a brief moment, he was soaring like a bird; he was at the top of the world. Brown eyes widened and watched the world spin around them. The wind whipped his dark hair in his face, catching the crystalline droplets from his cold cheeks and carrying them away into the distant future. His world crashed around him as he began his descent.

Instinct kicked in again. His adrenaline rushed, his heart pumped harder, his breathing became quick and shallow. A scream rose inside of him, but his throat tightened and he soon suffocated on it. As he looked back up to his condemner and savior, he felt a change of heart. Not only in his own soul, but also in the soul he was so deeply bonded and connected to. The other's amber eyes widened and his lips parted. It was a mirror image of Juudai's expression, only with an angrier stare.

This was it. He'd let Juudai down. Then again, that was to be expected. He couldn't have really trusted the other to catch him when he fell. Now, he would surely die. Just as he'd promised.

Time seemed to slow considerably; the world was barely moving at all. He could not imagine a more painful process. More than anything, he longed to shut his eyes and scream 'til the waves resounded off canyon walls and violently shattered the icy azure above into oblivion. Who really knew what was true and real anyway? Life was a mere delusion; at least, he'd found out that it had been. And now that everything that made his life worth living was gone, he had no reason to continue. He didn't want to draw another agonizing breath of air; his burning lungs would explode from his own toxicity. He served no purpose in the world. Rather, he was useless, a mere consumer.

And then, staring up as his counterpart reached out to him, just as cold as ever even as he began to fade away into mist, he realized the destruction he'd brought on the world. If he continued his descent, the only entity closest to him would die as well. He realized he had to learn the meaning of trust again.

His mouth opened. The word escaped his parched lips, louder than he'd expected. His cry grew louder and louder, echoing off the canyon walls, until the earth shook. It carried on eternally in the cold distance, until it was heard no more.

"HAOU!!"

The other was shaken into visibility and leapt into action. He lunged and reached as far as he could, his face still frozen in bitterness. Yet his eyes had changed from angry to surprised. Juudai extended his hand, tears flowing freely down his face. Worry and pain creased his brown. Deep inside, he didn't really know why Haou would try to save him like this, even if his own existence was threatened. It didn't really matter, though. As long as something was done. Still, the initial shock of the action made him calm down, for a moment. He began to wonder about Haou's feelings…

Their fingers brushed, yet Haou could not catch him. He screamed, but time silenced it. The world shook harder; it seemed as though the sky would crash down on him.

Haou would not give up on him so easily. He leapt from the cliff, and spiraled down towards Juudai. Juudai stared at him in horror as he reached out more and grasped the other boy's hand firmly. Yet, they continued to fall.

Juudai panicked. He began to hyperventilate and beg for his life. Screaming that he didn't want to die, he shut his eyes, tears still leaking from beneath his eyelids. Haou pulled Juudai's trembling body to his own and quickly shushed him. Still weeping, Juudai peered up at him and took in a sharp intake of air. His eyes were piercing still, yet this time, they held something stronger than bitter hatred. They told Juudai to trust him. Juudai closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to Haou's, and Haou did likewise. They held onto each other, their bodies relaxing to calm even as they sped towards their death. Yet it didn't matter.

"I love you…"

It did not need to be said. Juudai knew it already. He didn't know where the thought had come from; it seemed to have come from nowhere. But if Haou was willing to go down with him, then he cared about him to some degree. Even though Haou would've died anyway, it made all the difference in the world to not be left to die alone. And that's what made Juudai feel as though there was someone to catch him when he fell. Before anything more could happen, he leaned forward and brushed his lips to Haou's. And the other did nothing to stop him.

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**A/N: Well…there it is…Yep. Don't even say that Juudai would never angst like that. Re-watch the third season. It's somewhat canon. And don't say anything about Haou either. He never said it. Remember, this never actually happened to Juudai because it's symbolic. I hope it makes sense…**


End file.
